The customer is always wrong

There are different styles for waiters

As most of you will know

Go so fast you make them dizzy

Or, like a snail, be slow

 

Service with a sneer is good

Or service with a frown

And GBH if they don’t tip

Be sure to note this down:

 

If ever a dilemma

Has you impaled on its prong

Memorise now the maxim:

The customer is wrong

 

Now join me in full-throated voice

All hearty, sing along

The restaurant staff are always right

And the customer is wrong.

 

Cable TV installations

Are with complications fraught

Some screw-ups are natural

And others can be taught

 

Just remember, when you’re called out

Don’t bring everything you need

Always leave the job part-finished

To satisfy your greed

 

They’ll have to call you out again

You can spin it out so long

You’re never to forget, please

That the customer is wrong

 

Now join me in full-throated voice

All hearty, sing along

The cable staff are always right

And the customer always wrong

 

Sales staff, when you pitch your sale

Please feel free to lie

Unsettling the insecure

Is something you should try

 

So tell the heavy mum-to-be

In two weeks her pram’s here

And when she’s paid you, tell her

That it will take a year

 

Each time you sucker someone else

Bang merrily your gong

All the time declaiming:

The customer is wrong!

 

Now join me in full-throated voice

All hearty, sing along

The salesperson is always right

And the customer always wrong.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s